jennnifersnoveller

Leaving Cheshire

I woke up to the sound of my mums and dads voices. They yelled at each other downstairs. They had fight a lot since Christmas. I took my pillow over my face and closed the screaming out. It’s the same thing every single day. They fight, and then they just pretend that they love each other in front of me. I was so tired of that, I just wanted to disappear. To run away from my life. 
I went to my bathroom and took a shower; it felt nice to let the water wash away all the problems for a little while. I stood in there what felt like an hour. When I came out again it was really quite. I didn’t hear a sound. So I went downstairs to check what my parents were doing, but I didn’t find them anywhere. I became a bit worried. They had never just leaved before without saying something.  I tried to call them but I heard their phones from the bedroom. They leaved me, without saying anything, without a note and they had no phones. Great I thought.  My parents didn’t even care about me anymore; everything is about them, them and them. I hated the fact that I wasn’t important to them anymore.
I fell down on the floor and felt some tears on my cheek.  It became more and more. It never ended and I started to panic. What if they wouldn’t come back? What would I do then? So many thoughts ran through my head. I didn’t know what to do. My parents didn’t cared about me, obviously, and I didn’t have any real friends. Just some that wanted to be friend with me because of our money. And I couldn’t stand that.

So I haven’t any friends, no siblings and my parents fight all the time. I just couldn’t handle it so I walked in to the bathroom and fell down to the floor. I barley didn’t see anything because of my tears, but when I saw it, it was like it lighted up the whole room. I took the blade between my fingers and placed it on my wrist. I counted to three and on the third I pulled the blade quickly against my skin. All the pain was now directed to my wrist. The blood dropped on the floor. All the psychical pain disappeared so I pulled the blade again. A scream came out of my mouth but I didn’t bothered. I kept pulling the blade against my skin. I knew it was wrong, but what the hell. Nobody cared about me anyways. It was so much blood on the floor and I felt a little dizzy, and then before I knew it everything became black.

I woke up in my bed; it was dark outside. I looked at my phone. 8.30 pm it showed. I didn’t remember anything; I looked around the room after my diary. When I reached for it I screamed of pain. My wrist was hurting so much. I heard footsteps outside my door, and my mum ran into my room. “What happened?” she asked me with a worried voice. “Nothing, my wrist just hurt, I don’t know why” I was confused; I really didn’t know why my wrist was hurting so bad. She sat down in my bed and looked painfully on my. “Have you no idea why your wrist hurts?” I just looked at her and shook my head. She grabbed my arm and started to unwrap the bandage I had around my wrist. When she was done I hold my breath. His couldn’t be true. I couldn’t have done that. It didn’t work out in my head. My mum started to talk to me, I saw that her lips were moving, but I didn’t hear anything, just my own breath. “Why did you do this Fel?” I closed my eyes for a second “Why do you even care? You left, without a word, you and dad fighting all the time and you never notice me. So why do you really care?” I looked up at her, she looked shocked. “Felicity Emily Thomson, what are you saying? Of course I care about you, and yes me and your dad is fighting a lot, and that’s why..” She took a break before she continued “We’re getting divorced” She crossed the limit, I couldn’t handle all this. I jumped of the bed and ran, I ran out of the house, out on the street. The tears streamed down my face. It was dark and the only light was from the lamps beside the road. This couldn’t be happening to me, even though I hated my parents, I didn’t want them to get divorced; my whole world would collapse if that happened. I saw Panacea in front of me. Outside it was a clung of boys. I really didn’t care, so I kept on running. I barely saw anything while I was running away from everything.
Suddenly I was on the ground. “I’m so sorry” I heard I voice said, I looked up and saw his green eyes. I mumbled a short “it fine” and then I started to run again.

I came to a lonely park. I fell down on my knees and just cried. I thought of everything that has happened. What I was supposed to do, I didn’t want to return home, never again. I was 17 years old and had a lot of money; I was thinking about leave all this, just go somewhere else. And start all over. I sat on the ground with my face in my knees and cried my eyes off, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I hold my breath and stopped crying. Carefully I looked up, I started to panic. There, in front of me, stood a man with blonde hair and a big smile on his ugly face. “Hey beautiful, I know what can make you happier” he said with a creepy smile on his face. It scared me to death. I stood up and started to run, but he was faster than me, so before I knew it, I was on the ground again. He sat on the top of me, while is hands was everywhere on my body. I cried and screamed. But he didn’t stop. He was hitting me in the face and took of my clothes. And there I was. On the ground, in a park with just my under wears and a man in top of me. His hands didn’t stop touching me. And suddenly he ran away. He left me there without clothes in the middle of nowhere.

I sat up and the tears still streamed down my face. I had no idea what the time was. All I knew is that it started to get a little sunnier.
I heard some footsteps that suddenly stopped. I felt some arms around me and then I heard a voice that I recognized. “Hey, hey, calm down. Wait, you’re the girl that I ran into right?” I just sat there quite, what was this? A random guy came to comfort me, and that random guy is the guy I ran into outside Panacea. What where the odds of that? “ I, I, I don’t know you” I said with the tears in my eyes. “Yes I know, but I can’t let you sit here all alone in your under wears. If you don’t want to tell me, I completely understand. But please just let me help you, please” I looked up at him, and I saw pain in his beautiful green eyes. He didn’t even know me, but he still cared about me. I was so confused. “Man, kissed, night” was the only words that came out my moth before the crying took over. He hugged me harder, “Sssh, you don’t have to tell me, it’s going to be okay, I promise”
What was I doing, I didn’t even know the boy, I really didn’t knew anything about him, but I was sitting there, in his arm and cried. What was wrong with me? I couldn’t sit in some stranger’s arms and cry. That was so wrong. I tore myself from his grip and took my clothes and I ran away from him. I heard that he was coming after me so I screamed “leave me alone, I don’t know you, just go away” and after that I didn’t heard any footsteps anymore. He had stopped. I had nowhere to go, but I was sure of one thing, I couldn’t stay in Alderley Edge, not even in Cheshire. I had to come away, maybe London? And start my life all over again.

I ran home though I didn’t want to. To my relief my parents weren’t home so I went in and took all my money, which was around £ 1500 and I also took some money from my parents. I packed a bag with my stuff and then I leaved. When I was standing on the road I looked back on the house, the house that had been my home from the beginning. But I had to forget that, if I would be able to start over. I took the bus to the train station. My tears started to come. I loved Cheshire, I really did, but somehow, I had to move on. I couldn’t live my life there, I just couldn’t.

When I stood in the line to buy my tickets I heard a familiar voice. I turned around, and stood eye to eye with him. This couldn’t be happening to me. “Hey” he said with a little smile in his face. “I’m sorry for what happened before, I’m Harry by the way” Now he smiled even bigger, and I couldn’t resist to smile a bit when I saw his wonderful green eyes, his curly hair and that cute smile. No Felicity, don’t even think about it, you are going to start over, I thought to myself. I closed my eyes, putted a little smile on my lips, opened my eyes and said “Hi, I’m Felicity. And it’s okay, I just don’t really want to talk to strangers about stuff like that” He looked down at the ground before he replied. “Well, I understand you. But can’t we maybe get to know each other?” My eyes got big. “No, no I’m sorry, but I’m going to move, I can’t stay here, I must start my life over. I’m sorry” He looked a bit disappointed while he looked down at the ground and scraped with his foot. “Oh, I’m sorry that I asked” He smiled a bit, but even though I didn’t knew him at all, I could see it was fake.
I turned around as it was my turn to buy a ticket. “Hello, one ticket to London please” I said with my best smile on my face. “Are you moving to London?” I heard that he was happy. “Well, I think so, or I don’t have an apartment but we’ll see what’s happen there”  Now he had a big fat smile on his face “I’m actually live in London with a few friends” I realized why he had been so happy, he’s going to take the train to London too. He went to the desk and started to talking “Hi, one more ticket to London please. I pay for both” I starred shocked at him “No, you don’t, buy one. I’m going to buy my own ticket!” I said a bit angrily. He just smiled at me and then he stretched out the money to the guy, took the tickets and came towards me. “Here you have, you want a new life, and if you get to know me you’re getting a new life. I can help you in London” I was shocked, I didn’t really know what to say. I’ve met this guy 3 times, the first time I just ran into him, and then after that. And he wanted to help me in a new city and paid my ticket. This wasn’t right. “I’m moving because of many reasons, I love Cheshire, I really do. But I must get away from all this. And you’re from here, so yeah, you understand.” He bit his under lip and looked down at the floor “I’m sorry” he said and walked away. I stood there like an idiot. What had I done? No wait, I hadn’t done anything wrong. Harry was a guy I didn’t knew, so I had no obligation to be nice to him. All I wanted was to get away from Alderley Edge and he didn’t make it easy for me.

We sat beside each other during the trip to London. I read my book and closed him out. I came to a special part in the book

*Jane saw her sister on the other side of the road. She yelled at her, but it was too late. The car smashed in to her sister. She saw her only sister take the last breath on earth, while her tears were streaming down her face. Her best friend trough and trough was now gone, Jane didn’t believed it. Her lovely sister had taken her last breath.*

I started to cry, it was like that was my life. It was almost the exact thing that happened to my little sister Emma.

I could see that Harry was looking at me like he didn’t know what to do. He came closer and took his hand on my back “Hey, hey what happened?” “Harry, just leave me alone” I said while I was running away to the toilet. I hated myself, I hated my life. No one would even care if I died. And why was Harry doing this to me? Many thoughts were running through my mind. I wanted to start a new life, and I couldn’t do that with him. He was from Cheshire and that brought me too many memories.

3 weeks later

I was living my new life in London. 3 days after I arrived I found an apartment. It was really nice and the rent was surprisingly low. But I didn’t complain. I had five neighbours who lived in the same house. But I hadn’t met them because they wore in the US or something like that. The landlord had asked me things about One Direction before I moved here. I was really confused; I had no idea what One Direction was. They were apparently a boy band. Not like I cared about it anyways.

I was on my way home from my work on Starbucks when I saw a big black car outside the house. I kept walking and when I almost was there some big guy came up to me “You can’t be here, go to the other girls” what did he talked about? “I don’t understand what you mean. I live here” I said and looked at him seriously. “Ha like I’m going to believe that, you can’t come in here” I became really angry. I tore up the key from my pocket and held it in front of him. “Well, this is a key, and this key fits in one of the apartments in that house, now let me go home!” He stared at me “You stay here, I’ll be right back” I stood there and just looked. Why were all the girls outside the house, and why couldn’t I come in?

After a while the big man came back. He smiled at me “I’m sorry, you can go in now, I’m Paul by the way” he said. I smiled back at him, he seemed pretty nice. “I’m Felicity” I walked towards the house and I went by the car and looked at it. Out came 5 young guys, first a cute guy with blonde hair, then a guy with black hair. After that 2 guys came out while they were wrestling. They stopped and looked at me. “How did she get here?” the black haired guy asked. Out of the car came a guy with curly hair. He looked up to me and smiled. It was the guy from Cheshire. “I’m living here, and can you explain why I wasn’t allowed to come in at first?” The five boys looked at each other and then on me again. “So you don’t know who we are?” “No why should I? Well I know that he is from Cheshire and his name is Harry” I said and pointed at Harry. The blonde guy looked at me confused and said “So you know about Harry but you don’t know about us? Well, this was quite strange” “So I should know about you guys just because Harry flirted with me in Cheshire?” The boys looked at each other again with confused looks. Then one of the guys smiled and came to me “Well I’m Louis, and you?” “I’m Felicity” “oh cool, well this is Zayn, Niall, Liam and of course Harry” I smiled at the boys, but when I came to Harry I just looked at him with a disappointed face, I knew that he had something to do with this apartment. I went inside and took something to eat. I was starving! Every time I looked in his green eyes, I saw Cheshire. I thought that this couldn’t happen to me. It was so surreal. I needed to think.

When I went down the street I could feel the freedom. I loved London. On the football plane on the end of the road, I saw 3 guys standing against the fence. One of the guys looked a bit familiar. He turned his head against me and I couldn’t breathe properly. That creepy smile on his face became bigger and bigger. I started to panic and ran away. I ran as fast as I could, when I looked back I saw him, he was running after me. I saw my house a few hundred meters away. The adrenaline rushed through my veins. I quickly typed in the code into the port.

When I was safe in there I sat down on the floor with my arms around my knees and cried. He was here, in London and he remembered me. I couldn’t stop the tears, not even when I heard a door opened. I didn’t even bothered to look up, so I had no idea who it was. But I felt two strong arms around me. I really didn’t care about anything that moment, I just wanted to have a normal life, and forget all about Cheshire. I stopped crying and looked up for a second, and I saw two worried ice blue eyes. Maybe the guys weren’t so bad at all. I mean it has happened two times that they sat down with me when I cried, and they didn’t even know me at all. When I was looking in to those blue eyes I started to cry hysterically again. He lifted me up and carried me in to his apartment. He put me down in the couch and I really couldn’t stop crying, how much I even wanted to.

When I woke up I had 10 eyes that looked at me. I really couldn’t handle stuff like that. I totally freaked out, took the blanket over my head and started to cry. I heard Harry’s voice “Hey hey, it’s okay now. I promise!” I couldn’t look up “Don’t look at me, I just can’t handle it, please” I said between my tears. If I heard right, the boys left. But Harry didn’t move at all. He just sat there quietly while I was crying in his arms. It felt so wrong, but on the same way it felt so right. My whole life was a completely mess. Everything I did went wrong. When I got to know someone knew, I destroyed it. This time was no exception. “I’m so sorry for everything, I really am. I just come here like a total mess and every” I didn’t finish my sentence. He laid his finger on my lips “Don’t apologize, if we didn’t like you we wouldn’t do all this, trust me. Don’t be sorry, because you haven’t anything to be sorry for” I smiled at him while he was dragging me in to a hug. I was about to fall for this boy. I couldn’t deny it anymore. “Please, stay here tonight so I know that you’re safe” I looked up at him and just nodded before I lay down on his chest again. I felt happiness for the first time on ages. And I loved that feeling, the feeling that someone actually cared about you. It was amazing.

“Dear diary, long time no seen, right? So much has happened on these 5 years. And if someone came to me then and said that in five years you’re going to be famous, have the best boyfriend ever and live your life in London, I had just laughed at that person. But now, everything of that is true. When I’m thinking back on these 5 years, I just can’t hold back the tears. So many good things have happened to me, but also too many bad things. I remember that night when I was chased by that creepy man like it was yesterday. Harry lay awake all night just to see that I was okay. He held me in his arms while I was sleeping, and when I woke up during the night he comforted me. I had never felt so happy over something so bad before. It was crazy.
The days after that he was with me all the time. He refused to let me go by myself anywhere before he was sure about that I was completely okay. He was such a sweetheart.
And dear diary, now you’re probably thinks that Harry is that wonderful boyfriend I have. But actually, he isn’t. He was my boyfriend however. But after 1 year, he did something really, really wrong. I found him on MY couch with MY best friend. And my line was crossed. He went too far.

A few months after that something special happened between me and Niall. It begun with a little flirt, but it became something so much bigger. I think that you can figure out the rest by yourself.
When Harry quitted the band, yes you heard right. He actually quitted the band, everyone became really depressed. I understand that, they had been band mates for so long, and it came a little suddenly. Actually I don’t know the exact reason why he quitted. But however, when the boys started to get over it a bit, Niall forced me to audition for The X Factor. So on February 18^th I stood on that stage. My journey was long, filled with tears, smiles, laugh and so much more. In the end, I won The X Factor 2014. My journey didn’t end there. I released an album, and so much more. And now I’m sitting here, on my bed, with my lovely boyfriend by my side and writing this. I’ve just finished my Europe Tour and now I have a few weeks off. I haven’t spoke to my family even though Niall has tried to get me to call them so many times but I have refused every time.

Okay, Niall is probably waking up any second now, so goodbye for this time!
13/5-2016”

I loved to see Niall’s beautiful smile in the morning. When he smiled at me my heart rushed. “Babe, you and I are going out tonight!” He said with big white smile. My eyes got big and a big smile sneaked in to my face.

That day went by really fast. I was in the mall and was shopping a bit. Around 7 pm Niall came home from an interview and knocked at my door. And there he stood, with a suit and roses in his hand. “Wow Niall, you didn’t need to do this” “But I wanted to, come on” We went outside to the car. Paul was driving. After a few minutes he took a blindfold and putted it on me. “Niall what are you doing?” I was a bit confused at the moment. “It’s going to be a surprise, calm down” I smiled and leaned back at the seat.
Suddenly the car stopped, I heard a door open and close. Then my door opened. Niall took my hand so I could come out. He started to walk slowly with his arms strongly around me. And before I knew it, I was in his arms. “Niall let me down!” I laughed. “Soon” he replied. And as he said, it didn’t take long before I stood on my own feet again. Niall slowly uptight the blindfold, and in front of me, I saw the most beautiful place. We where on the beach, and I saw the big blanket on the sand, with lots of candles around it. “Niall, this is just” a tear fell down on my cheek. “Don’t cry, you deserve the best” He took my hand and we went to the blanket. He took some food out of a basket, and we just sat there and looked at the beautiful view. “I’ll be right back” he said and ran in to the forest.

“I've tried playing it cool. But when I'm looking at you. I can’t ever be brave 'Cause you make my heart race.
Shot me out of the sky. You're my kryptonite. You keep making me weak. Yeah, frozen and can't breathe.”

I heard a beautiful voice and a guitar. I looked back and out of the woods, the most beautiful boy came out with a guitar in his hands. He sang on One Thing. He came against me and stood in front of me

“Something’s gotta give now.’Cause I’m dying just to make you see. That I need you here with me now
'Cause you've got that one thing”

After the last word he leaned forward to me. Our lips met in a perfect kiss.